I can’t say it.
Neither can I.
*licks your pussy then goes to your parents and yells*
WHO THE FUCK MADE THIS?
WAS IT YOU?
THIS SHIT GOOD!!
It’s amazing the mental acrobatics white people will perform to absolve another white person of racism, while simultaneously placing equal blame on the person of color for “being just as racist”, when all we did was defend ourself…
apparently daddy long legs are called ‘harvestman’ in other parts of the world
what are they harvesting?????
"i dont like short hair on girls" yeah well i dont like short dicks on guys but here u are
Next Time You’ll Know Better
Have you ever walked into a room and found a vampire?
No, not the sexy kind, but a foul creature with bony limbs and ashen skin? The kind that snarls as you enter, like a beast about to pounce? The kind that roots you to the spot with its sunken, hypnotic eyes, rendering you unable to flee as you watch the hideous thing uncoil from the shadows? Has your heart started racing though your legs refuse to? Have you felt time slow as the creature crosses the room in the darkness of a blink?
Have you shuddered with fear when it places one clawed hand atop your head and another under your chin so it can tilt you, exposing your neck? Have you squirmed as its rough, dry tongue slides down your cheek, over your jaw, to your throat, in a slithering search that’s seeking your artery? Have you felt its hot breath release in a hiss against your skin when it probes your pulse—the flow that leads to your brain? Has its tongue rested there, throbbing slightly as if savoring the moment? Have you then experienced a sinking, sucking blackness as you discover that not all vampires feed on blood—some feed on memories?
Well, have you?
Maybe not. But let me rephrase the question:
Have you ever walked into a room and suddenly forgotten why you came in?
This took me a second
FUCK ITS BACK
(Source: , via stilesisanassbutt)
oh maaaaaan, m. look
That did not go where I expected it to.
but i like it
More Facts on Ultrafacts
This is literally my fourth or fifth time reblogging this.
It’s still hillarious.
Mermaid and Sea-maid from Arthur Spiderwick’s Field Guide to the Fantastical World
Other creatures from this book - here